Heart and Soul: My Companion Subi

In early August 2002 Subi stopped eating and became emaciated. After a biopsy, she was diagnosed with "emerging lymphoma". It was during this two week period of treatment at the Animal Care Clinic in El Sobrante that I realized Subi might never return home again. It was then that I wrote the poem "Echoes of Subi".

Little did I know that Subi would return home and regain her strength and vitality for a full year.

A year later practically to the day of being diagnosed with lymphoma, Subi was diagnosed with kidney failure. Two weeks later on August 11, 2003 she succumbed in my arms as I raced through the doors of Mission Pet Hospital. Subi was 16 1/2.

Echoes Of Subi

I know she's not here
I open the door slowly
careful not to step on her
but I know she's not here

I lay on my bed
rustling sounds come from the window
Subi's about to jump up
but I know she's not here

I'm at my computer and hear a faint meow in the bathroom
I get up to turn the bathtub faucet on
but I know she's not here

I drop down the toilet seat and expect Sube to come pouncing in
It's been a Pavlov's dog thing for 15 years
but I know she's not here

Her face nuzzles against mine
Her body prone on my chest
Her purr
Her gaze
Her resting place
Under the big dark blanket
But I know she's not here

My memories
My tears
My emptiness

My baby's gone

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copyright: Tangents 2005
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